You want to talk to someone, but you aren’t 100% confident, and you want to know what to say so that you’re both comfortable and understand each other

Steps

  1. Think about your positive goal (Strategy); what do you want to get/have by talking with them?
  2. Think about how you’ll start the conversation by Answering Comfort Questions
    1. If they don’t know you personally, then plan to say your name first
    2. Make your positive goal (Strategy) into a sentence using words like
      • “I’m trying to…”
      • “I’m working on…”
      • “I’m looking for…”
    3. If your positive goal (Strategy) is vague, then consider sharing the actions you’re doing to achieve it
  3. Think about a Request you want to ask them
  4. Get their attention with a polite expression and/or gesture
  5. Tell them, in order, your answers to the Comfort Questions
  6. Tell them your request
  7. Now, you have started a conversation

Example A (Quick question)

<aside> 💡 Definitions

  1. Think about your positive goal (Strategy); what do you want to get/have by talking with them?

    (I want to know where a certain store is in the mall)

  2. Think about how you’ll start the conversation by Answering Comfort Questions

    1. If they don’t know you personally, then plan to say your name first

      (I’m Emily)

    2. Make your positive goal (Strategy) into a sentence using words like

      • “I’m trying to…”
      • “I’m working on…”
      • “I’m looking for…”

      (I’m trying to find Earnest Icecream)

    3. If your positive goal (Strategy) is vague, then consider sharing the actions you’re doing to achieve it

      (I’ve been looking for it on the map)

  3. Think about a Request you want to ask them

    (Can you help me find it?)

  4. Get their attention with a polite expression and/or gesture

    I lightly tap their shoulder “Excuse me” Once they’re looking at me, I smile “Hi!”

  5. Tell them, in order, your answers to the Comfort Questions

    “I’m Emily. I’m trying to find Earnest Icecream. I’ve been looking for it on the map, but I can’t find it”

  6. Tell them your request

    “Can you help me find it?”