• When to use

  • You like or appreciate something that someone said or did, and you want them to know

• How to use

  1. Think about the specific behaviour/words the person did or said that you liked/appreciated, by Using Observations
     • “They said they like my shoes”
     • “She smiled at me when I said ‘Hi’ to her”
  2. Think about how you feel about this, by Expressing Pure Emotions
     • “I feel good”
     • “I feel happy”
  3. Think about how to say this to them
     • “When you said you like my shoes, I felt good about that”
     • “Whenever I see you smile, I feel happy”
  4. Ensure you’re using an Direct Observation and Pure Emotion

     • Remove

       • Labeling

         These pressure people to live up to a standard, imply an opposite (negative) type exists, and fail to mention the appreciated behaviour

         • “You’re the best” / “That was the best”
         • “You’re a good person” / “That was good” / “You did a good thing”
         • “You’re a god/genius/chad/etc” / “That was godlike/genius/etc”

     • Master

       • Actions & feelings

         These share the actual behaviour you appreciated

         • “When you shared your idea, I felt empowered”
         • “I’m happy you said that”
         • “I like that you’re carrying my bag for me”
  5. Say it to them

  Now that you’ve shared Gratitude that identifies an action they performed, they understand that this action creates a positive feeling for you, and if they want to, they can choose to do it again, or do similar things in the future, to give you more of that positive feeling

• How to train

  Here are some things you can do to gain experience and level up this skill

  • Think of something that one of your parents/friends/schoolmates/teachers/etc did or said that you liked or appreciated, whether it was just recently, or even a long time ago, and use this skill to express your gratitude
  • When you encounter a random person, and they do/say something you like or appreciate, use this skill to express your gratitude

• Leveling up

  Your level is equal to the total number of checkboxes below that you can do in 80%+ of situations

  • Being able to quickly express your gratitude in any situation with
    • [ ] Family
    • [ ] Friends
    • [ ] 2nd degree connections (friends of family, friends of friends, etc)
    • [ ] Totally new people
    • [ ] Authorities (parents, teachers, police, etc)

Core Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests

Advanced Skills

1. Confirming Interpretations
2. Recognizing Needs
3. Expressing Gratitude
4. Receiving Gratitude

All CNC Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests
6. Recognizing Needs
7. Confirming Interpretations
8. Expressing Gratitude
9. Receiving Gratitude