• When to use

  • Someone is complimenting you, or expressing their gratitude about something you did

• How to use

  1. Think about the exact words they said to you
     • “You’re a great guy”
     • “You’re so nice”
  2. Ensure they share an Direct Observation
     • Examples
       • “You washed the dishes for me”
       • “You said to me ‘You will be okay’ ”
     • If they did not share an Direct Observation, then
       • Master
         • Specifying questions
           • “What did I do that makes you say that?”
           • “How do you know that?”
           • “What do you mean?”
  3. Tell them how their gratitude makes you feel
     • Master

       • Actions & Feelings

         When they express their gratitude cleanly

         • “It feels good to hear you say that”
         • “I’m glad you said that”
         • “I'll happily do it again”

  Now, you’ve received their gratitude in a way that lets you know what behaviour they appreciated, and also lets the person know you accept their words

• How to train

  • Think of a time someone complimented you, which could be recently, or even a long time ago
    1. Start by remembering the exact words they said, by Using Observations
    2. Start a conversation with that person right now, or as soon as you can
       • If the time they complimented you was recently, then you can start with “When you said ()…”, and use this skill to receive their past gratitude
       • If their compliment was a long enough time ago, then you can start with “Remember when you said ()…”
         1. If they don’t remember, then help them figure out which time you’re talking about
         2. Once they remember, then use this skill to receive their past gratitude
  • Whenever anyone expresses gratitude to you, anywhere about anything, use this skill to receive their gratitude

• Leveling up

  Your level is equal to the total number of checkboxes below that you can do in 80%+ of situations

  • Being able to quickly express your gratitude in any situation with
    • [ ] Family
    • [ ] Friends
    • [ ] 2nd degree connections (friends of family, friends of friends, etc)
    • [ ] Totally new people
    • [ ] Authorities (parents, teachers, police, etc)

Core Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests

Advanced Skills

1. Confirming Interpretations
2. Recognizing Needs
3. Expressing Gratitude
4. Receiving Gratitude

All CNC Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests
6. Recognizing Needs
7. Confirming Interpretations
8. Expressing Gratitude
9. Receiving Gratitude