• How to use

  1. Start with a Situation you want to improve
     • Direct Observation
       • e.g. “I heard him say ‘You’re dumb’ while looking at me”
     • Pure Emotion
       • e.g. “I felt sad”
     • Core Need
       • e.g. “I need to grow as a person”
  2. Think of a Strategy (something that could fulfill this Situation’s Core Need)
     • e.g. “I would grow as a person if he shared what he thinks is better instead”
  3. Make sure it’s an addition Strategy
     • Remove
       • Subtractions (taking away something)
         • “If he doesn’t say that”
         • “If he stops talking to me”
         • “If he goes away”
     • Master
       • Additions (gaining something)
         • “If he shares his Direct Observation”
         • “If he says he has another idea instead”
         • “If I finish talking before he responds”
  4. Now you have an addition Strategy, but it might not be actionable yet
  5. To make it actionable, continue to Making Effective Requests

• How to train

• Leveling up

  Your level is equal to the total number of checkboxes below that you can do in 80%+ of situations

  • Being able to quickly create a Strategy for situations involving
    • [ ] Family
    • [ ] Friends
    • [ ] 2nd degree connections (friends of family, friends of friends, etc)
    • [ ] Totally new people
    • [ ] Authorities (parents, teachers, police, etc)

Core Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests

Advanced Skills

1. Confirming Interpretations
2. Recognizing Needs
3. Expressing Gratitude
4. Receiving Gratitude

All CNC Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests
6. Recognizing Needs
7. Confirming Interpretations
8. Expressing Gratitude
9. Receiving Gratitude