• How to use

  1. Start with the first 2 parts of a Situation

     • Using Observations
       • e.g. “I heard him say ‘You’re dumb’ while looking at me”
     • Expressing Pure Emotions
       • e.g. “I feel sad”

  2. Think of what you’re needing right now

     • e.g. “I need confidence”

  3. Make sure you’re describing it as a pure need

     • Remove

       You can get past these by asking “What would getting this allow for me?” repeatedly, until you reach your emotional need or core need

       • Strategy

         • “I need to get away from here“

       • External references

         These force an emotional dependence on something or someone

         • “I need you”

     • Master

       • Psychological needs

         • Freedom

           • “To be able to do what I want”
           • “To make my own decisions”
           • “To have freedom”

         • Growth

           • “To know how to handle things”
           • “To learn and improve my skills”
           • “To grow as a person”

         • Connection

           • “To share things with others”
           • “To relate/connect with people”
           • “To be heard/understood”

           Connection is the only need with external references, because people have a fundamental psychological need to share/relate with others. Notice this mentions no specific person, but only the need for Connection itself

  4. Now you have a Core Need, which is the 3rd of 3 parts of a Situation

  <aside> 💡 From here, if you have all 3 parts of the Situation, then depending on what you want to do, you can continue to

  • Creating Strategies
  • Expressing Gratitude
  • Share your Situation with the intention of connecting </aside>

• How to train

  To gain experience and level up this skill, you can

  1. Explore a situation
     • Go through a past or current chat with someone
     • Watch a video, TV show, or movie
     • Listen to a song, podcast, or conversation
     • Talk to someone you trust
     • Talk to a new person
  2. Use this skill (after Using Observations and Expressing Pure Emotions ) whenever you
     • Notice yourself feeling comfort, discomfort, or any emotion
     • Think someone else is expressing comfort, discomfort, or any emotion

• Leveling up

  Your level is equal to the total number of checkboxes below that you can do in 80%+ of situations

  • Being able to quickly share your core need in any situation with
    • [ ] Family
    • [ ] Friends
    • [ ] 2nd degree connections (friends of family, friends of friends, etc)
    • [ ] Totally new people
    • [ ] Authorities (parents, teachers, police, etc)

Core Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests

Advanced Skills

1. Confirming Interpretations
2. Recognizing Needs
3. Expressing Gratitude
4. Receiving Gratitude

All CNC Skills

1. Using Observations
2. Expressing Pure Emotions
3. Sharing Core Needs
4. Creating Strategies
5. Making Effective Requests
6. Recognizing Needs
7. Confirming Interpretations
8. Expressing Gratitude
9. Receiving Gratitude